At the end of last semester I was doing a little bit of reflecting during finals week. Why study for my neuroscience final when I could just not do anything? (And being even more procrastinative, I am just now writing this blog post.) I started thinking about just how much my life has changed in the past year. Even the past two years, but the inner collegiate transformation the most.
As a first semester freshman, I was miserable. My roommate and I clashed every single day. She wouldn't look me in the eye when she talked to me, back talked me to the other girls on the floor, and wrote mean messages on the whiteboard outside our room. She communicated with me through nasty post it notes left on my laptop cover. She stayed out until 4 every morning and turned on the lights when she got home, even though I had early classes. She complained about me setting an alarm in the morning. Needless to say, it was a horrible living situation for the both of us. I wasn't perfect, and neither was she. So I sent in an application to the housing office to transfer at semester. It was a plea of help. Luckily for me, I did get transferred to a new building and a new life. My new roommate was an angel. Literally, she was put in my life for a reason, and I thank her every day. She supported me, and wasn't crazy, which was the biggest blessing. My new floor was fun and spunky and we shared many laughs together. It seemed almost instant, but my happiness was back and I was no longer crying to my Mom on the phone every night. But this isn't really a story to make you feel sorry for me, or to scare you away. It's a story of hope. I know a lot of people's first semesters at college are great, but there are also those of us whose first semesters suck. It's hard to imagine that there are other people out there who aren't as happy, but that's because you don't see it. In social psychology there is this effect (Sorry Professor Bernard, I can't remember what it's called), but it's when you see people out and happy, and you can't see people in and sad. For example, say you don't drink, because not everyone in college does. However, all you see is people's facebook posts about how much fun a certain party was, or blah blah blah. No one posts about staying in on a Friday night, so you don't realize that people actually do. You don't see other people eating alone in the food courts, because a lot of people take it back to their rooms (thank God for carry out), but instead you see the fast friends laughing and being loud in Gresh. I want you to know that it's okay. Things seem to work themselves out.
For me, the working itself out was moving dorms and joining a sorority. I joined a sorority to meet those women who would support me when I needed it, and take some of the pressure off of myself that I always manage to pile on. Yes, we were instant friends, but actually getting to know these women in the past year has changed my life. I know, it's cliche and awful to read (and write), but it's true. I'm now living with people who accept me when I'm wearing yoga pants every day for a week and don't want to put eyeliner on. I'm with those who want to go on a run with me so that we can eat that dessert that Chef Lisa is making. It's hard to describe what this "sisterhood" thing really is in words. Even if you don't want to go Greek, I hope that you find a group of people who you want to call your family, your home away from home. It will all come with time. For now, put on a smile and fake it until you make it. Nobody wants to talk to a frowny face. (Yes, that's my inner kindergartener coming to the surface.) College is a hard transition. But it's second semester, you've gotten into your pattern of living. Or maybe you just moved dorms like I had. You'll find that pattern. It's time to make those stupid college memories that our parents are always yakking about.
If you're feeling stressed, you can always turned to studentspill.com . It's a fabulous resource.
My sister and I on bid night- almost exactly one year ago.
These are some of the crazy women I share my life with now. :) AGD Love.
These are some of the lovely new women in our newest pledge class. You're lives have changed. Enjoy the ride!
That's all folks.
Peace, Love, Sisterhood.