Let’s take a moment and backtrack. So midterm season is (thankfully) over. Homecoming, Halloween, IUDM… yeah, they left nearly as quickly as they came. So what’s left now? A slight sliver of a (much more optimistically tinged than last year) football season, a week off for Thanksgiving break, and a basketball season in which we enter as the number one team in the country, with arguably the number one player in the country. That’s not a big deal, or anything.
But then I have to stop and think about the fact that I was literally trying to shove my life into two suitcases just yesterday for the third consecutive year in a row. My mother was once more begging me to stay around (half jokingly, I’d hope), because she still hasn’t gotten used to saying goodbye every August. Then, I flew back to Bloomington. I’ve lived more than halfway through yet another semester of college.
During summer, I dreamt both during the night and during the day of nothing more than returning to Bloomington, my beloved second home. Potential scenarios for the year’s forthcoming events looped through my head continuously. I was in full control of these plotlines, so I imagined a lot of things. Did any of these things actually happen?
Of course not. Because if there’s one thing that I’ve learned, it’s that you should never, ever expect anything. Could I have possibly expected things to be the way that they are now? No, of course not. Did I want to know back then that this was how things would turn out? No. I never did.
That’s part of the fun in life. As much as it drives me insane every time actual occurrences don’t imitate the vivid images put forth by my mind, I know that there is a reason. Yes, I’m that girl who clings onto the hope that everything happens for a reason. I have been doing so since my middle school days. Why? Because this old adage has never let me down. I feel like over my extremely brief lifespan so far, I’ve come a long way. The embarrassing moments, the grief, the hard times, the pain… yeah, they were there. You went through these things too. Perhaps not at the same time or in the exact same way as I did. But that doesn’t mean that you felt them any less.
Plans may have wavered, people may have changed, I may have changed, unexpected setbacks may have occurred. But in the long run, I know that I am the sum of my experiences. And these memories, these moments, these instances… I didn’t want to know, because then I would’ve had time to plan a reaction.
More often than not, the most beautiful things in life aren’t the ones that are planned or expected. And if there’s anything I learned, it’s that all I can do is live my life boldly, beautifully, and insatiably. This way, I don’t have to worry about my expectations being met, because I know reality will be far better. Every single time.