Collaborative Divorce: A Peaceful Alternative to Litigation

• William Gall

Do you want to avoid an ugly divorce battle?

Every couple going through a divorce fears the thought of an ugly courtroom battle. The reality is that if you litigate, you can:

• spend more money
• experience longer timelines
• and increase emotional trauma for everyone.

But here’s the thing:

Most people believe litigation is their only option. But there’s a better way to resolve family disputes and it saves money, time, and your relationships.

Without the right strategy, divorce can tear apart more than just your relationship.

So there’s a peaceful alternative that’s becoming more popular with couples who want to end their marriage without the drama. Collaborative divorce is changing the game for families who want to separate.

Let’s dig in!

What you’ll discover:

• What Sets Collaborative Divorce Apart?
• Why Collaborative Beats Traditional Litigation
• The Real Cost of Divorce Savings You Can Expect
• When Collaborative Divorce is Most Effective

What Sets Collaborative Divorce Apart?

Collaborative divorce is a team approach where you and your spouse work together to solve your problems. Instead of fighting each other in court, you agree to find solutions that work for both of you.

Here’s what happens:

The collaborative process involves each spouse hiring a specially trained collaborative attorney. These attorneys sign an agreement that if the collaborative process fails and goes to litigation, they must withdraw and you must hire different attorneys to litigate.

Why is that important? Well, because it creates an incentive to make the collaborative process work.

The collaborative team can include other professionals like financial advisors and divorce coaches. They can support you during the emotional and logistical aspects of the divorce without the courtroom battles.

It can be helpful for working through family disputes to work with personable family lawyers. These professionals need to understand how to strategize and handle disputes involving family members. The collaborative approach empowers these professionals to focus on problem-solving, not fighting.

Here’s what to think about:

When divorce is in your future, your legal team doesn’t need to prepare for war. They can prepare to help you create peace.

Why Collaborative Beats Traditional Litigation

The benefits of collaborative divorce are easy to see if we look at the data…

You Save Money

Want to know what most people don’t know about divorce costs?

According to recent data, the average divorce cost per person between both spouses is between $15,000 and $50,000. The cost for high-conflict cases is $100,000.

Collaborative divorce costs from $10,000 to $25,000. Yes, you can save thousands of dollars by choosing the collaborative approach.

Here’s the breakdown:

Litigation means you’re paying for:

• an expensive court process
• depositions
• and long, drawn-out discovery.

You don’t have to pay attorneys to fight over small issues anymore.

You Save Time

Litigation can take years. Court dates, delays, and appeals can prolong a divorce process until it’s over.

Collaborative divorce takes anywhere from 4-8 months from start to finish, and it’s faster because you’re in control of your timeline.

You Reduce Emotional Damage

Courtroom battles are hard on everyone. The kids are the ones that suffer most when the parents are fighting.

Collaborative divorces focus on working together, not against one another. Studies show that 90% of collaborative divorces end positively through collaboration.

Did you get that?

90% of divorces that used collaborative divorce ended in resolution. That’s remarkable.

The Real Cost of Divorce Savings You Can Expect

I want to be explicit about how collaborative divorce saves you money…

With traditional litigation, you need:

• extensive discovery of documents
• deposition for both parties
• expert witnesses (often both spouses will have an expert witness)
• court filings and motions
• trial preparation
• and actual trial time

Collaborative divorce does away with:

• Court Proceedings
• Combative discovery processes
• Duplicate Expert Witnesses
• Lengthy trial prep
• Multiple court appearances

Collaborative divorce professionals use neutral experts that both spouses can access instead of each spouse hiring their own professionals. The use of a neutral saves thousands of dollars.

Think about this:

Neutral experts that are used in the collaborative process typically have a set cost/billing. This is a budget-friendly expense for most people. Litigation is a wild card; there’s no telling what costs you’ll encounter.

When Collaborative Divorce is Most Effective

Collaborative divorce doesn’t work for every divorce case. When it works, it works wonders for families.

Here are some of the characteristics of people who are best suited for collaborative divorce:

• Both spouses are willing to work together in good faith
• Spouses have at least a basic level of respect for each other
• You want to protect your children from parental conflict
• You want privacy
• You want some control over the outcome of the divorce

If there’s domestic violence in the family history, financial transparency from both spouses, or a power differential between the two spouses, collaborative divorce may not be the best choice.

The bottom line is communication. If you can openly communicate through your differences with professional help, the collaborative divorce process is an excellent option.

Legal Strategies That Make It Work

Collaborative divorce uses specific legal strategies that trained professionals are familiar with.

The process begins with everyone signing a participation agreement. The agreement has language stating that everyone will work together and will do their best not to resort to litigation.

A collaborative team typically includes the following:

• Two collaborative attorneys, each representing one spouse
• A financial neutral who can help with the division of assets
• A divorce coach to work with you during the emotional journey
• A child specialist for families with kids

Each person on the collaborative team plays a distinct role that helps everyone stay peaceful and productive.

Magic happens in 4-way meetings:

Spouses and their attorneys meet regularly to go over and work through issues. The meetings are not battles; they’re an opportunity to problem-solve to reach a future resolution.

Making the Right Choice for Your Family

Deciding how to proceed with your divorce is one of the most crucial choices you’ll make. Divorce rates have remained at about 40-50% for first marriages for the past few decades. This means that over 100,000 couples divorce each year in the US, and millions worldwide.

Collaborative divorce offers one way to protect relationships while also ending the marriage. Collaborative divorces are a great option when you have kids in the picture because it models healthy conflict resolution.

The bottom line is:

If you and your spouse can agree to work together, collaborative divorce is an excellent option. It has advantages over litigation; you save money, time, and energy while also maintaining your dignity during the process.

Wrapping It All Together

Collaborative divorce is a revolution in how we approach family disputes. Instead of battling it out in a courtroom, you can opt for cooperation and mutual respect.

The data is quite clear. Collaborative divorce costs less money, takes less time, and the percentage of cases ending successfully through collaborative divorce is up there at about 90%.

Remember:

• Collaborative divorce costs significantly less than traditional litigation
• The process typically takes a few months, not years
• 90% success rate of divorce ending in positive resolution
• Helps preserve relationships
• Protects children

If divorce is in your future, please don’t assume litigation is your only option. Collaborative divorce may be the peaceful alternative that your family needs to move forward with dignity and respect.

The choice of a lifetime between collaboration and litigation can determine the end of your marriage and the beginning of your family’s future.